Recipes for the Care & Feeding of Pirate Husbands

Recipes for the Care & Feeding 

of Pirate Husbands

My goal for packing provisions for the grand adventure has been to prevent scurvy and make heart healthy meals that are quickly prepared while on the move for a man who loves meat and potatoes.  Of course, what he orders me to make and purchase takes precedence over my thoughtful planning.

Kiss me, I'm a scurvy pirate!

Breakfasts: 

Oatmeal (of the instant variety)

Boiled Eggs

Pancake Mix

Maple Syrup (100% maple)

Lunch:

Canned Sardines (packed in olive oil)

Canned Tuna

Canned Chicken

Canned Beef

Crisp Rye Crackers (no white bread)

Swiss Cheese

Dried Soups (just add boiling water)

Fresh Apples (washed and ready to eat)

Fresh Oranges

Dinner:

Specialty Burgers (in one serving packages to be grilled)

Chicken Breasts (in one serving packages to be grilled)

Meatballs (homemade - recipe to follow)

Spaghetti Sauce with Ground Chuck (homemade - recipe to follow)

Red Potatoes (scrubbed clean, ready to boil, stored in netting)

Mashed Potatoes (a variety of the instant variety)

Noodles (just add boiling water)

Canned Vegetables (spinach, green beans, peas, corn, beets)

Canned Fruit (peaches, pineapple, pears, mandarin oranges)

Jars and Jars of Applesauce

Snacks:

Dried Fruit (apples, apricots, cranberries, raisins, cherries)

Nuts (pecans, walnuts, macadamia, almond, peanuts)

Chocolate (huge bars of dark chocolate) 

Desserts:

Rarely do pirates eat dessert; chocolate is just not a requirement for life sustenance as it is for the Pirate's Wife. He has the bars of dark chocolate but that may be for extreme cases of emergency.   

Beverages:

Coffee

Water

Condiments:

Mustard

Ketchup 

Spices (wide variety packed in plastic tubs that store well)

Sugar (real cane)

Lingonberry Jam (Scandinavian - an amazing source of Vitamin C)

Living aboard alone on a 34' Marine Trader while sailing 8-12 hours every day does not leave a man a lot of time for preparing meals and "dishing" as my Pirate Husband refers to the kitchen duties.  You know, "a man's got to do what a man's got to do," and that really means checking on his 120hp Ford Lehman diesel engine early in the morning and then again in the evening.  For him, grab and go while steering at the helm is going to have to cut it.  

This spring I purchased and babied a living lettuce bowl for him to take on the boat. That idea was scratched off his list.  It was not going to be convenient to water and secure every day. Romantically I envisioned him breaking off a few lettuce leaves, and maybe some fresh basil or dill to eat with that stinking canned fish.  Realistically a small herb garden on a vessel that small would only be a hassle.  

A Living Lettuce Bowl - Endless Salad

When I join him once every three to four weeks for a long weekend, I'll bring more homemade frozen meals and restock his provisions.  

"Baby, the day before I leave, get down to Landes and get the meat needed to make your meatballs and lots of spaghetti sauce."  

"Yes, Sir." That's the appropriate response to my Pirate Husband, in fact, it's the only response that's ever going to work. This argument was poised quite eloquently by Westley in "The Princess Bride."  He said, "Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time."

  

Landes Meats is our local butcher who co-ops with farmers who don't use antibiotics or hormones. http://www.landesfreshmeats.com/  

Recipes:

Meatballs     

3 pounds ground chuck

1 1/4 cups seasoned bread crumbs

1 3/4 cups whole milk

2 eggs, well beaten

1 large minced onion

4 garlic cloves very finely minced
1/4 cup of freshly chopped dill

1 tablespoon Lawry's Seasoned Salt

Lots of freshly ground black pepper

Combine the ingredients until mixed evenly.  Roll the mixture into tablespoon sized balls.  Brown the meatballs in olive oil in an iron skillet.  We use olive oil for everything; just don't let it get too hot.  If it's smoking, it's too hot.  Meatballs will brown nicely in olive oil and only good fat is added.  Place the meatballs in a crock pot on the lowest heat setting.

                                  

Brown Gravy

8 tablespoons of the pan drippings

8 tablespoons of flour

3 cups of whole milk

1 cup of water

salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Sprinkle the flour over the hot drippings in the iron skillet, stirring a few minutes over medium-high heat. Whisk in the milk and then the water; cook until it starts to thicken, whisking constantly.  Add salt and pepper to taste, in my case, lots of freshly ground pepper.

  

*Note:  If this is not enough gravy, and there should always be plenty of gravy, I've been known to use the "Brown Gravy Mix" by Southeastern Mills http://www.semills.com/  This is not considered cheating, as sometimes you just don't get enough drippings from ground chuck as you would with meat having a higher fat content.  

Add the gravy to the crock pot, being careful not to damage the meatballs.  Just pour it over the top of the meatballs, the gravy will make its way around on its own.  I let them cook on low for a couple of hours.

After the meatballs have cooled to nearly room temperature I put them in freezer bags. For one man servings I use a sealing sandwich bag and then re-bag in a quart-sized zipper freezer bag. The last thing the Pirate Husband wants to deal with is a gravy mess in his small deep freezer. 

Roast and Homemade Mashed Potatoes...at home.

When he is ready to use them he empties the pouch into a pan on his alcohol stove while he boils water for his instant mashed potatoes.  He opens a can of spinach and a heaping spoonful of lingonberry jam and he's set for a meal of real comfort food just like at home. Except alone. On his boat. With the waves pitching the boat to and fro.  He'll wash it all down with a cup of very strong coffee and then go check his engine.  120 horse power. Ford Lehman.

Spaghetti Sauce with Ground Chuck

3 pounds of ground chuck

1 large chopped onion

4 garlic cloves finely chopped

Heat some olive oil in your iron skillet and add the onion and garlic.  Add the ground chuck and brown until completely cooked. 

In a large cook pot combine the following:

1/2 cup olive oil

1/3 cup chopped fresh basil (from the daughter-in-law's garden)

4 garlic cloves finely chopped

3 tablespoons sugar

1 large can of crushed tomatoes

1 large can of diced tomatoes

1 small can of tomato paste

2 jars of marinara sauce

salt and freshly ground pepper

Once the ground beef is browned just add to the sauce in the cook pot.  Allow to simmer on low for at least an hour and give a little wear test now and again just to make sure everything tastes just right.  

Once the sauce has cooled to nearly room temperature I put them in freezer bags.  Again, for one man servings I use a sealing sandwich bag and then re-bag in a quart-sized zipper freezer bag.

When he is ready to use the sauce, he empties the pouch into a pot on his alcohol stove while he boils water for his spaghetti noodles.  He opens a can of green beans and a jar of applesauce; again washing it all down with a cup of very strong coffee.  Then he'll go check his engine.  120 horse power.  Ford Lehman.

120 Horse Power Ford Lehman